I know Mel through the world of the flute. Though we were both music students at the same time (in different colleges), it was many years later through British Flute Society events and Wonderful Winds roadshows that we actually got to know each other. We stay in touch via Facebook, and I look forward to seeing her regular Friday posts of an espresso martini to usher in the weekend – something that became a ‘tradition’ for her during lockdown to differentiate one day from another, and to give a virtual “cheers” to friends and family, especially those without someone close by to clink a glass with. (Partial to an espresso martini myself, I’d like to record here Mel’s offer to make me one, one day…!)
Mel has lived in Devon for the past 26 years, and though she clearly loves all that the county has to offer, with Dartmoor on her doorstep, she is getting ready to relocate to be nearer to her kids as she is about to become a grandma! So, turning 60 is immediately bringing change to her life along with an opportunity to sort through bits and pieces from her past as she prepares the house for sale. She told me that she’s trying to empty the house of ‘stuff’, which has often meant putting things into charity shop bags, only to take them back out again not long after. She feels this will likely be her final house move, and describes it as both exciting and daunting.
Having dealt with location, we talk about life on a more philosophical level. Mel tells me it’s difficult to say if she’s where she thought she’d be, but she’s happy where she is. Like myself (and others I’ve interviewed in this series), Mel thought she’d be happily married forever… but having tried marriage twice, she is content these days with the single life. And she has two great kids to show for that part of life. It’s with them that she celebrated her 60th – lunch and a stay in Salisbury, and a little party with her nieces and their kids. She feels good about being 60, and although she doesn’t feel great about moving closer to dying, she is happy to take each day as it comes until that point.
Professionally, Mel always wanted to be a musician and felt there was almost no choice but this path. She came from a musical family, where Mum was a piano teacher and Dad loved listening to all kinds of music, but especially Mahler. loudly. There was always music in the house, and Mel played recorder and guitar (with designs on being a singer/songwriter) before taking up the flute. She had thought she would still be playing well into old age, but life had other ideas. Around 10 years ago, Mel began to experience problems with her mouth that started to affect her embouchure. Her sound began to disappear a note at a time, starting with low notes. At first, she wondered if it was because of the removal of some teeth (this was not something I wanted to hear, as I await removal of a difficult lower wisdom tooth at the dental hospital); then there were question marks over whether it was CBD, a terminal neurological disorder with a much- shortened life expectancy of 6 to 8 years … So, when she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, though unwelcome, there was still a feeling of optimism! ‘It taught me that things can turn out better than they could have’, Mel told me, ‘and I feel lucky that it wasn’t anything worse.’ She controls the condition with minimal medication, and maximum movement – more of which later. But the way it has affected her face means she can no longer play the flute; she also finds writing difficult and movement in her left side is an issue. She says she doesn’t miss playing too much now, but there is still a flicker of hope that things with her mouth might change and allow her to play again.
Thankfully, Mel’s talents as a musician also encompass composing and arranging – She has been doing this since college days, but never thought she would make a living from it. But now, she runs a successful business (‘Wonderful Winds’), creating original and highly regarded arrangements for wind instrument ensembles. She spends hours at her computer working on arrangements whilst admiring the views of the Devon countryside and has no plans to stop working. She talks about how lovely her customers are, and tells me about a recent email she had from a customer who had been rehearsing one of her arrangements in a barn, when a calf was born… so they named it after Mel! She’s also busy with workshops, which she conducts, and she plans to keep doing these as a way to keep challenging herself. She tells me one of her proudest moments was arranging (for flute orchestra) and conducting Shaun Davey’s ‘Relief of Derry Symphony’– something she never expected she would do, and also recently having Gareth Davies and the LSO flutes play her arrangement of Over the Rainbow as an encore to his UK premiere of the 2nd Liebermann Flute Concerto.
In terms of plans for the future, Mel says she has no great desire to travel even if she feels she ‘should’ want to! But she does want to walk more – having done several walking marathons, she plans to do more and might even stretch to running one for charity. She stresses how important she thinks it is for people to keep moving as they age and advises getting out and keeping on walking.
Our conversation turns to world events. Mel is somewhat sanguine. ‘When things get stupid in the world (like they are now)’, she says, ‘I think “I can’t control that”. So I take no notice and work on something small that can have a positive impact’. We talk about the internet, and how although it is essential for her business, she finds that in other ways it doesn’t free up time, rather it sucks it away. Searching for things online throws up a gazillion results, which end up taking ages to sift through – you think the internet will make things quicker, but it doesn’t. She confesses to being addicted to her phone, and we agree that we’d both like to be less ‘phone-centric’. And that without phones, we’d be much more creative.
This last point forms part of the advice that 60-year-old Mel would offer to her younger self –‘Just be more creative!’ Take every opportunity to be fearlessly creative – hold on to that fearlessness and fight against the temptation to filter what you do because of worrying what people will think. Her final piece of advice makes me smile… and then quickly stop… ‘Don’t look at your teeth at night’, she says. ‘It will only make you miserable!’
50shadesofbrave 