50shadesofbrave

This is something of a misleading title for my post, as will become clear. For it would seem that *every* day is ‘the day’ of something…

Let me explain.

This post, and others that may follow, has been inspired by the findings of my dear friend Helena Holrick (www.helpingyoushine.com), who has recently shared her discovery that every single day of the year has a ‘national/international day of’ something attached to it. I read her Facebook post in honour of national #colouringbookday yesterday and decided to investigate and see what days I felt I could honour myself.

Today (August 3rd), I found myself with six (six!!) choices. Those of you who know my propensity for decision paralysis might be forgiven for expecting that at that point all went horribly wrong 😂 … but no. Here were the choices:

• #Girlfriendsday
• #respectforparentsday
• #watermelonday
• #grabsomenutsday
• #mustardday
• #sistersday

Let’s deal with these in order…

1. I don’t have a girlfriend in the sense I interpreted this … so no

2. let’s not talk about this one (I refer you to my previous post)

3. maybe? But I don’t feel that strongly about watermelon

4. not sure what to say about this one… cashews anyone?

5. bleurgh

6. In honour of national #sistersday, let me tell you about my sister…

I’m not going to bore you with a 50-something year blow-by-blow history of our relationship. Suffice to say that it has always been ‘interesting’! As kids, we had a lot in common (school, music, parental expectation…) but we were also very different. In early adulthood, we steered one another through some very tricky times especially around relationships and mental health. In adulthood our relationship has been… can I say ‘rocky’… at times, and those who know us will know that for 9 whole years we were estranged… during which time anything we did say to or about one another was not kind ☹️

That’s the past. And long may it stay there. Because last year, gingerly and with our mum’s wellbeing as the catalyst, we began to reform our relationship. Functional at first, I think we both soon realised that we could actually communicate quite well and that our intentions for self and family were more closely aligned than we may have believed. As things have thawed and we have taken down the safety walls we had built around ourselves, we have found more commonality than difference, and dare I say it, have found enjoyment in one another’s company along with the will to be there in support of one another. This is especially true as we both navigate our parents old age and seek to manage the effects of their parenting and the consequent need to regulate our expectations of them and of self. (I think that says what I want it to say in as ‘delicate’ a way as possible!)

We have enjoyed dog walks and coffee, wine and giggles, messages and memes, and even a trip away to west Wales in our campervans, Maudie and Libby. We’re even considering a short break abroad in the autumn. All things that would have been unbelievable to us and those around us 18 months ago.

And so, in honour of national #sistersday I’d like to say thanks to my sister for meeting me halfway and turning out not to be such a bad egg after all 😛😛. I sincerely hope our days of adversary are behind us. And to others of you who may have sisters / siblings with whom your relationship is not as you would wish… don’t give up, because if we can make it work, I have every faith that there is a way for you too.

Happy #sistersday!