50shadesofbrave

New Year resolutions just don’t do it for me. I gave up on them years ago, on the basis that they are so often short-lived and prone to early failure! I much prefer the idea of setting a series of goals or challenges that have some longevity and can offer some positive feelings of achievement. This year that has taken the form of a ‘bingo board’ of 30 challenges (an idea taken from a YouTube video) that has kept me going for 11 months of the year. (I can confirm also that it included much less drama than my visit to the bingo as blogged in Go to the bingo!)

As I marked off the final challenge of the board last week, I reflected on which had been pretty easy to chalk up and which had been more difficult. Squares which featured exercise-related challenges have actually been a breeze, as I am now a regular twice-weekly gym-goer and a walker pretty much every day of the week. Squares featuring craft activities were also pretty quick to be marked off, as well as some of the self-care squares such as ‘yoga and sound bath’ or ‘have coffee with a friend’ (multiple times!!). Slower to mark off was ‘Do something positive for mental health’ – I think I do do positive things for my mental health quite frequently, so I’m not sure why I felt I needed time to assign which ‘thing’ met the criteria to mark off this one.

Some of the squares related to travel – ‘go to the beach’ was amongst the first to be ticked off, and then there was ‘book a trip in the UK’ and ‘book a trip abroad’. The latter took longer to achieve, possibly due to procrastination on my part. And some of the squares were designed to encourage me out of my comfort zone through the inclusion of the word ‘new’. ‘Walk in a new place’ and ‘Try something new’ and maybe even ‘Book onto a class’ – all of these were fun to do and broadened my experiences at points during the year.

Several squares related to household chores – ‘small’ ones, ‘big’ ones and an ‘upgrade/maintenance’ one. These challenges turned up a whole load of questions to self over what constituted ‘small’ or ‘big’. The subjectivity of such descriptors meant that I was slow to mark these off as I wasn’t convinced that what I’d accomplished met the self-imposed criteria of magnitude! There’s definitely a lesson there.

The biggest learning, however, and most difficult squares to consider as done, were the following:

• Do something kind / helpful for friends
• Do something kind / helpful for parents
• Do something kind / helpful for kids

Very interesting… On a basic level, my reluctance to consider these squares as accomplished says a lot about my expectations of self. I’m pretty sure that I am kind and helpful to all of the named categories of people on a regular basis, however it became a real sticking point to accept something as kind / helpful enough to warrant ticking off those squares. This has made me think quite long and hard about being kind and offering help to others, and also about being kind to myself… and asking for help when I need it (which I’m really not that good at!). These squares have definitely led me to conclude that acts of kindness don’t need to be big and ostentatious, and that I am going to cut myself some slack when it comes to judging my own actions.

The final square to be ticked was ‘Write creatively’. This is something I definitely want to do more of and which I am a master of putting off! I guess this blog is a form of writing creatively (there was a separate square for blogging though, so I ruled that I couldn’t count it), however the intention behind the square was to encourage me to sit and consciously add to my portfolio of writing. In the end, I allowed myself to consider this square done because of the amount of creating of texts I have done in languages other than my own this year! I will return to the question of writing fiction / poetry in English on next year’s board…

Yes, next year’s board… I will definitely create a board for 2025, as I have found this a really great way to keep a focus on moving forward physically and mentally throughout the year. Learnings about the board itself include making it a proper square, so that I can enjoy the sense of achievement of marking off lines as well as fulfilling the entire board.

Let me know in the comments what you think of this as an idea, and whether you might try it next year!